3 Months Away...

       Today I finished my second day of college. Only my second day. I have a very strong feeling that this is going to be a very long three months. I am and have been super homesick, I am really scared of my history class, and I have been on my knees so much these past five days. College is hard, and a lot different than I thought it would be. I thought that when I got here, I would be in one of my classes sitting next to a guy who would start talking to me, we would get to know each other, and start dating. I also thought that I would have a different feeling of when I got here, and that all my questions would be answered. But reality is so much different than reality. I have maybe talked to two guys, met some cool people but haven't really clicked with anyone. My feelings since I have been here these past five days have been crazy ones. It might be my homesickness talking, but I keep wondering if by the end of the semester, I will find that being at a university and I don't get along well, but I keep asking myself why am I here? Is it to become a teacher like I know I am supposed to be? Is it to obey the prophet's words to get an education? Because knowledge will be what you take with you in the end. Is it to find an eternal companion? Or is it to test my faith and obedience and push myself to utter breakdowns every day I try my best? I was never really super excited to go to college, I was more scared, curious, and nervous about it.
       Once I started moving my things in to my room, however, my nerves went to excitement, being ready to start a new adventure. And then my parents went home and I had an almost nervous breakdown about printing, I had my first class with a reading I didn't immediately understand I got stressed, and reality kicked in. It kicked in hard. What if I do find that I am not meant for college? or at least a big scary university? How can I become a teacher if I don't go, but what if I can't handle it, how am I supposed to become a teacher? I am also doubting that I want to be a history teacher... I think it might become more of a hobby, learning about history. But I can't answer any of these questions because it is only my second day here! Everyone said that I will have so much fun in college! And my parents were saying that I am meant to be here... How am I supposed to know? What am I supposed to do? Really I am just scared of the future, and not being able to see myself as a teacher. How am I supposed to become a teacher, if I can't see myself teaching? I really needed to let my thoughts out, and I hope those that read will keep me in their prayers, and pray to help me know what to do. I should probably finish my homework now... Sincerely, Undecided.

Hello Rexburg!!!

I am now in Rexburg Idaho looking forward to starting a new adventure known as college! I have been at BYU-Idaho for four days now, and it already has opened my eyes to lots of new things. My roommates are amazing and my actual roomie is a freshman, and the only one besides me in my apartment... :) I have already realized how much my mother did for me. Already I am starting to run out of milk, and I keep thinking when will a new gallon appear? Well, it will appear when I go get it with my own money... She has done everything for me, and I miss her cooking so much! Then there is my dad whom I miss just as much. Right after they left I was trying to put together a document holder,  unbeknownst to me, it included screws, which requires a screwdriver which my dad has... I wanted to call him and tell him to turn around and come back because I need him! Then I think of my sister and what an amazing friend she is to me. She has taught me so much about getting older and growing up, and she and Aaron have given to the whole family the cutest two people on the planet, Ty and Ruby. Oh how I miss them!!! I miss seeing their smiling faces everyday and getting the biggest hugs from Ruby, and an amazing tale from Ty. My classes haven't even started yet, but I feel homesick. My brothers, my sisters-in-law, my grandma, pepper our dog, and especially riley my cat. Yes Shawn and Dad, I finally admit it. Riley is my cat:) I miss home a lot but I am looking forward to starting this new life with new people and many new adventures.

A New Start

Okay, for those of you who follow my blog, I am sorry that I have not posted in forever, I am not much of a blogger... But I am posting now so here I go.
          High School is now over and a second journey will begin shortly. In September I will be making my way to Rexburg, Idaho to attend Brigham Young University-Idaho and study History Education. I finally have everything figured out, from classes all the way to housing. I am very much scared to be starting this journey but I am also excited to start what will be the rest of my life. I have never lived on my own before so I am a little nervous about that and I am very much a home-body... I know, though, that everything will be alright and that once I step foot in my new house (apartment), I will forget every emotion that I had up to that point and be so ready to live! I will, however, only be gone for three months at a time so I don't have to worry about being too home sick, and my mom won't have to wait six months to see me again, only three:) So, I am preparing to go to college and learn what I need to learn, make my own mistakes, and learn even more to rely on the Lord. So let the games begin!

Oh school...

Alrighty. well, officially school is bugging the heck out of me, and it hasn't started. I had a dream a couple nights ago about my schedule(because I don't get my schedule until Sep. 1 and it is bugging me), and my first period class was divination. you know, like in Harry Potter. yup. Freaking out. Also, I am freaking out about college. I have to take the ACTs again because i need to bump my score up to really qualify for BYU and i need to study for that, and i am taking the SATs in November. so, i am pretty much college concerned!!! for, now, i am anticipating getting my schedule in less than two weeks, and I really really really want to know who my teachers are. So, those are my feelings today!

Update

Here is an update for the last month. I went to Utah to visit my brother and family and it was my first plane ride ever, so it was pretty amazing. the guy who was sitting next to me said that this flight was about the 200th flight he has been on so that comforted me a bit:) so i spent about a week with Brent in South Jordan and we went to see David Archuleta and brad paisley in concert and the BYU Stadium of Fire. it was pretty amazing. the firework display pretty much rocked! after i got home i got to go to Youth Conference for church and that was... exciting.
On July 14, my best friend Tenley and I went to wait in line for 7 hours to see the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, and like usual, it was freakin AMAZING! i love it! then i had to pack for another church event, Girls Camp. this year was my last year and my second year of being a Youth Camp Leader(YCL) and it was probably the best year ever! tenley and i were partners and we got to be in charge of 8, 13 year old girls that are probably the greatest girls ever! we had mice in our cabin the first day but we quickly took care of that, and it rained most of the week, except for the last two days, and on saturday as tradition, people are thrown into the pool, and i promise you that that was the last thing i wanted to have happen to me. so when one of my friends came after me, i escaped her grasp and ran for the lodge, leaving behind my shoes. So i went back to get my shoes and my YCL leader picked me up from behind and threw me into the pool, and Tenley got thrown in in her sweats and sweatshirt. greatest thing EVER!
So now i am back home for good for the summer, and two saturdays ago, i went to go take my permit test, and was waiting for almost an hour and when i was fourth in line, they closed the line down. so i was pretty mad about that. but then on tuesday i went to take it early in the morning, and i was seated at booth 5 and i took the test and failed miserably, so that put a damper on my day. So yesterday i went again and this time i only missed two questions and I GOT MY PERMIT!!!!!!!!! so i am very happy. i have driven once so far, and the gas pedal is a little more sensitive than i thought it would be. so yeah! that is my life so far. I will blog again soon!

SUMMER!!!

Well, summer is finally here, and I am looking forward to it! I just turned 17 on friday and what a great day it was. I spent the morning at the Balloon Festival with my friends and then i spent the afternoon going shopping with my mom, and playing frisbee with my dad. Then my family and i went to Olive Garden for dinner because i love Italian and the food there is wonderful:) My mom surprised me with a hot pink area rug for my room. I don't think my room can get any pinkier;) I also got Wii Sports Resort which i played for like four hours this weekend, and my brother Scott got me a book titled 100 Places In Italy Every Woman Should Go. it is like Italian heaven! then i went to borders and got an Italian Learning book, so i can finally learn the language! Scott also gave me a ride on his friends motorcycle! holy cow that was awesome!
This week I am flying, all by myself to Utah to see my brother Brent who is taking me to a David Archuleta concert!!! i am very excited to go! I am kind of nervous to fly because it is my first time, but i will love it! i can already tell. I got my final report card for Junior year, and i finished with all A's this entire year, and that bumped up my GPA! College watch out! because i am coming!
well, it is only the second week of summer, so luckily, it isn't passing by too quickly:) That is it for now! i will write again soon!

Just Waiting...

well, it is officially June and i am just waiting for school to be over! i am looking forward to my birthday, my friend coming here from Idaho, the balloon festival, movies, hanging out with friends and oh my gosh! i am just waiting. I will give some recent updates on what has happened in my life since March. In April i went to a mormon prom in Keizer and that was a total blast, i also took the ACT's and i am just anticipating the results. that was most of April. In may i had a choir concert that was disney themed, and it was amazing! i also lettered in choir! that is what i am most excited about. Also my nephew turned 4 and i can't believe it! he is such a big boy! and i got sick on the day of my voice recital but i was better by the end of the day, but i had only eaten a ritz cracker but that did not stop me from singing! i sang my heart out. so that is a brief update. As i said, i am waiting for June 16. just... waiting:)